Sorry, But I can't love you (Haymitch and Effie)
by FanGirl Gamer
Summary: The romance between district 12's "Star-crossed" lovers is making Effie think about the way she feels about a certain scruffy alcoholic, Haymitch Abernathy. She believes Haymitch has opened up to her and trusts her, but does he feel the same way about her? Slight Heffie. Frist EVER Hunger games fanfiction. Please: read, review and enjoy.


**A/N**: Okay, here's the story. I have been into the hunger for a while, a long time before the film was made, (Yes I have read the books) But I've never really had a chance to write a HG fanfiction. I've ideas but never actually written them. So I thought I'd start with a short one.

This is my first EVER hunger games fanfiction so please be nice. Reviews are always welcome. (:

This is set during the first book. Around the time when Katniss kissed Peeta in the cave during the game.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own the hunger games or any of the characters. Everything belongs to the amazing Suzanne Collins.

**Sorry, But I can't love you.**

Everyone throughout the districts and the capitol witnessed it. As Katniss Everdeen slowly healed her fellow tribute Peeta Mellark in a damp and lifeless cave, she had lent down over him and placed a gentle yet passionate kiss upon his drying lips. The viewers all had mixed emotions about the apparent "Star-crossed" and "Doomed" lovers, Some felt that their story was heart-warming and pulled at their heart strings, while others disagreed, believed that much like the capitol, it was all staged just so the game makers could enjoy themselves and play their sick, evil and twisted game. Effie Trinket, However agreed more with the positive side, but, also, in a way it influenced her own moves.

Romance was something she had dreamed of for a long time, but her work during the games always got in the way of it, there were many men that caught her eye, but none she ever wanted to get to know. She felt confused, during the earliest hours of the morning and the latest hours of the night she constantly pondered the meaning of her own life and wondered if one day she would find that special someone. She supported the capitol and the games with a great deal of passion, but sometimes leaving it all and running away with someone that cared about her seemed like the best possible idea. Maybe, the one she was looking for was closer than she had anticipated.

She watched the games with the usual company, People she never really focused on, apart from one scruffy man that slouched on the seats next to her. Haymitch Abernathy. The man you rarely see sober, well, that's what she thought. He constantly smelt of liquor, most of the time he was drunk or hung-over, he was the kind of person that Effie would never associate with, yet here she was, although she couldn't stand the way he behaved, she didn't mind him just being himself. She believed that underneath the alcohol breath and scruffy appearance there was a rich personality and caring nature, It was just buried deeply within him. As the footage of the games turned to the alliance between districts 1 and 2, she gazed at Haymitch through the corner of her eye.

She didn't really know how she felt about him, he might not have had the best ways of mentoring the tributes, but he got the job done, and district 12 was doing better than ever. He often looked disturbed, like something at the back of his damaged mind was constantly eating away at him, driving him to the point of insanity. Or maybe it has driven him over that point, and now whatever disturbs him has caused him to live and almost meaningless life of pain and depression. Yet every year he does his best to make the games a less traumatic experience, unlike it was for him. Effie had always wondered what it was like in the games, she had personally never wanted to take part in them, but, to be shoved in an area with other tributes around your own age, in a mysterious setting knowing that the only ways out are to kill or be killed must be something a person can never forget,

She always thought that winning must be something that a previous tribute would treasure the memory of until their dying day, but seeing the pain in Haymitch's eyes made her think differently, maybe the hunger games weren't all that great, perhaps some people didn't want to treasure the memory of them proving that they were the alpha male and that their home district was strong, she didn't totally believe. But there was something about Haymitch, his face told a story, a story of great loss, great pain, no sight of triumph or glory. Just destruction.

The night began to fall across the arena and the tributes became lifeless as they got what little rest they could. The hours pasted and soon enough viewers began to retire.  
"I need to send that girl something" Haymitch groaned as he stretched up from the chair. It was just him and Effie now.  
"Like what?"  
"Anything that can help Peeta recover."  
"You've already sent medicine."  
"That might not be enough." He said sternly. "They need something else, something that will give him that extra burst of healing power. Something simple, some kind of food. Fruit, bread, soup. Anything."  
"You're the mentor, Haymitch." Effie said plainly as she too got to her feet. "kind of sweet, though. Isn't it?"  
"Huh?" he questioned in a mumble.  
"You know, the whole doomed lovers scenario between Katniss in Peeta."  
"You think that's 'sweet'? That two young tributes are supposedly in love even though one of the will probably die."  
"But they said-"

"They may have said two tributes from the same district could win, but if both Katniss and Peeta survive something is bound to change. You think they're just going to let them walk away together?!" His voice raised slightly with a tint of anger. "All they want is a good show, they don't care about the people dying in the arena, they never have done, and they never will!" Effie fell silent, she knew he never liked the games, but she never knew he had such a strong opinion about, especially considering he was once a victor.  
"Sorry…" She whispered weakly. Haymitch simply shook his head and waved his hand in reply. "Are you mad?" Haymitch's voice became angry, not his face, just his voice.  
"Not at you, just at everyone else, the capitol, mad at the way they use there sick game to twist the mind of young people, of children! It's not right, no one should ever have to face the games. It leaves scars inside you that never go away."

Haymitch looked at Effie in a way he only looked when he wasn't thinking about the world around him, he look at her with his pain filled eyes, and the face that told a story. "Out there, in the arena, you witness thing that leave images in your head that never go away, even the strongest and wisest of people can't ignore them, and looking down at your hands-" He did just that, focused his pained eyes of his dry hands. "-knowing that you have murdered with your own hands…-" He swallowed hard and making a choking noise as he did that only projected his anger-filled voice. "-It kills you. The shame eats away at you every day until there's nothing left to do but scream!" Haymitch panted silently, he let his anger towards the games flood out of him and he'd thrown his rant towards Effie like a wild tornado. He looked at her, no longer angry, he saw her face, she seemed worried an almost scared. He gave his look of pain once again. "Sorry…" he muttered. Effie nodded and tried to bring herself to her usual chirpy self with a full smile.

"It's ah….it's fine." Haymitch threw himself back onto the sofa, rubbed his face with his palms and groaned. Effie placed herself next to him and rested her small hand on his shoulder. He jerked his head up awkwardly and looked at her, her make-up covered face was closed to him, She was staring at his soft face, her eyes twinkling like stars in the silver moonlight. She tilted her head ever so slightly and moved in closer. Haymitch turned his head and Effie was faced with his stubble cheek. She gave him a questioning look that he could only see through the corner of his eye.  
"Trinket, I can't."  
"W…Why not?"  
"I just…I just can't." Effie didn't want to hear anymore, she wanted to run to her quarters and cry, but instead, she walked. As she departed with teary eyes and a face smothered with sadness, Haymitch leant back into the sofa.  
"Damn it…" He groaned.  
***

Effie sat on her bed, staring at her electronic window through tear filled eyes. She was certain that she had it all right, Haymitch had opened up so much, expressing his true feelings about the entire situation that was the Hunger games, never before had he done something like that, with alcohol maybe but not with words, and Effie felt that she was the last person he'd ever open up to. Why did he reject her, if he trusted her with the truth, why didn't he want this like she did? Was it her? Was she not good enough? Was she good enough for anyone in the world? A question she had asked herself a lot since her tributes became star-crossed lovers. She no longer believed it, no longer believed that anyone would ever want to be with her. Her thoughts mad her sob more, but her cries remained silent.  
"Trinket?" A soft voice called out in a whisper.  
"Mr Abernathy, why are you in my quarters?"  
"Just checking on you, Trinket."  
"Well, I'm fine, thank you very much, so you can leave." Haymitch threw himself beside her, she refused to make eyes contact, instead she looked at the floor.

"I know your lying." Effie said nothing, did nothing, she remained motionless.

"Listen, it's not you, Effie, as in you, yourself, your personality. It's where you come from, what you do. I must admit most of the time you drive me crazy, I'm not one for manners and being polite, but you're only trying to help, I know that. But you come from the capitol, you support both them and the games, I know that your nothing like the game makers or the people from the capitol but…..Because of them, I ending up competing in the game, and they ruined me, that's why I'm such a mess, the trauma of being a tribute and a victor destroyed me, made me turned to alcohol and made me shut out the world. I don't think that I could ever learn to love someone that supports the people that created the very thing that wrecked my mind. Every night, I witness haunting images of what I did, of tributes lying around me, dead. I know I did what I did to survive, but sometimes I just can't live with the guilt and pain. So no matter how much I dislike or even like you, it's not you're fault. I'm sorry." Haymitch placed his hands on her cheeks, slowly made her face him, he leant in and placed a soft kiss on her lips that lingered for a moment. Haymitch got to his feet, as he walked towards the door he turned back to Effie and winked.

**A/N:** That's my first EVER Hunger games fanfiction, please tell me what you think, please leave reviews and…

…Do you want me to continue this in any way that I can, maybe a sequel that the opposite to this with romance. Let me know.

Please read, review and enjoy! (:

**Extra A/N:** Okay, I am not a real supporter of Haymitch/Effie (Heffie) I do however think they are kind of cute. But I thought that Haymitch probably would find it hard to love Effie because of the games and the capitol. SO you might see more Heffie like this, you might see romance Heffie, you might not see them again and might see other ships, but you will defiantly see more hunger games form me! (:


End file.
